Wall Street Week Ahead: Attention turns to financial earnings

NEW YORK (Reuters) - After over a month of watching Capitol Hill and Pennsylvania Avenue, Wall Street can get back to what it knows best: Wall Street.

The first full week of earnings season is dominated by the financial sector - big investment banks and commercial banks - just as retail investors, free from the "fiscal cliff" worries, have started to get back into the markets.

Equities have risen in the new year, rallying after the initial resolution of the fiscal cliff in Washington on January 2. The S&P 500 on Friday closed its second straight week of gains, leaving it just fractionally off a five-year closing high hit on Thursday.

An array of financial companies - including Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan Chase - will report on Wednesday. Bank of America and Citigroup will join on Thursday.

"The banks have a read on the economy, on the health of consumers, on the health of demand," said Quincy Krosby, market strategist at Prudential Financial in Newark, New Jersey.

"What we're looking for is demand. Demand from small business owners, from consumers."

EARNINGS AND ECONOMIC EXPECTATIONS

Investors were greeted with a slightly better-than-anticipated first week of earnings, but expectations were low and just a few companies reported results.

Fourth quarter earnings and revenues for S&P 500 companies are both expected to have grown by 1.9 percent in the past quarter, according to Thomson Reuters I/B/E/S.

Few large corporations have reported, with Wells Fargo the first bank out of the gate on Friday, posting a record profit. The bank, however, made fewer mortgage loans than in the third quarter and its shares were down 0.8 percent for the day.

The KBW bank index <.bkx>, a gauge of U.S. bank stocks, is up about 30 percent from a low hit in June, rising in six of the last eight months, including January.

Investors will continue to watch earnings on Friday, as General Electric will round out the week after Intel's report on Thursday.

HOUSING, INDUSTRIAL DATA ON TAP

Next week will also feature the release of a wide range of economic data.

Tuesday will see the release of retail sales numbers and the Empire State manufacturing index, followed by CPI data on Wednesday.

Investors and analysts will also focus on the housing starts numbers and the Philadelphia Federal Reserve factory activity index on Thursday. The Thomson Reuters/University of Michigan consumer sentiment numbers are due on Friday.

Jim Paulsen, chief investment officer at Wells Capital Management in Minneapolis, said he expected to see housing numbers continue to climb.

"They won't be that surprising if they're good, they'll be rather eye-catching if they're not good," he said. "The underlying drive of the markets, I think, is economic data. That's been the catalyst."

POLITICAL ANXIETY

Worries about the protracted fiscal cliff negotiations drove the markets in the weeks before the ultimate January 2 resolution, but fear of the debt ceiling fight has yet to command investors' attention to the same extent.

The agreement was likely part of the reason for a rebound in flows to stocks. U.S.-based stock mutual funds gained $7.53 billion after the cliff resolution in the week ending January 9, the most in a week since May 2001, according to Thomson Reuters' Lipper.

Markets are unlikely to move on debt ceiling news unless prominent lawmakers signal that they are taking a surprising position in the debate.

The deal in Washington to avert the cliff set up another debt battle, which will play out in coming months alongside spending debates. But this alarm has been sounded before.

"The market will turn the corner on it when the debate heats up," Prudential Financial's Krosby said.

The CBOE Volatility index <.vix> a gauge of traders' anxiety, is off more than 25 percent so far this month and it recently hit its lowest since June 2007, before the recession began.

"The market doesn't react to the same news twice. It will have to be more brutal than the fiscal cliff," Krosby said. "The market has been conditioned that, at the end, they come up with an agreement."

(Reporting by Gabriel Debenedetti; editing by Rodrigo Campos)

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Sri Lankan Parliament Impeaches Chief Justice

NEW DELHI — Defying a court order, Sri Lanka’s Parliament voted overwhelmingly on Friday to impeach the nation’s chief justice, a significant step in a worsening showdown between the legislature and the judiciary that has alarmed democracy advocates and many foreign governments.

President Mahinda Rajapaksa must now decide whether he is willing to take the last step in the impeachment process and dismiss Chief Justice Shirani Bandaranayake of the Supreme Court, who was seen as a Rajapaksa loyalist until September, when the court struck down provisions of a law that would have given greater power to the government’s economic development minister, Basil Rajapaksa, who is also the president’s brother.

The chief justice’s fall from grace since that ruling has been dizzying, with the state-controlled media sharply criticizing her. Impeachment proceedings began in November.

A parliamentary committee issued a guilty verdict against her in December, saying she had misused her power and failed to adequately declare her assets. Last week, an appeals court annulled the verdict and forbade further action by the Parliament against Chief Justice Bandaranayake.

The Parliament’s willingness to ignore the court’s ruling and impeach the chief justice anyway set the nation up for a possible constitutional crisis. Saliya Peiris, a lawyer for Chief Justice Bandaranayake, told The Associated Press that his client would not recognize the impeachment and that her next step would be announced later.

Since President Rajapaksa dominates the Parliament, the impeachment effort is widely seen by many democracy advocates as an effort by the president and his family to further consolidate power and eliminate any impediment to their almost complete control.

“The entire impeachment process is clearly politically motivated as a punishment to the chief justice for daring to apply the constitution in a way that went against the Rajapaksa administration,” Alan Keenan, of the International Crisis Group, said in an interview.

The parliamentary committee found Chief Justice Bandaranayake unfit for office on charges of failing to disclose details of 20 bank accounts and intervening in cases before the court in which she had a financial interest. She was also alleged to have sought to protect her husband from corruption charges.

She had protested the rapidity of the parliamentary proceeding and her inability to confront or cross-examine her accusers.

Lawmakers voted 155 to 49 on Friday to impeach.

On Wednesday, Victoria Nuland, the United States State Department spokeswoman, said that the department had “serious concerns about the actions that were taken to impeach the chief justice” and that the proceedings raised “serious questions about the process and government pressure on the judiciary.”

The United States Embassy in Colombo released a statement Friday repeating those concerns.

“This impeachment calls into question issues about the separation of powers in Sri Lanka and the impact of its absence on democratic institutions,” it said in a statement.

President Rajapaksa and his brothers are widely credited with ending one of the world’s longest and bloodiest civil wars in 2009 by defeating the separatist Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam. The war’s end brought stability to much of the country and has increased opportunities for tourism. But he and his brothers have been accused of being involved in unlawful killings by security forces and government-allied paramilitary groups, and a United Nations panel ruled that accusations against the Sri Lankan government of war crimes were credible and should be investigated.

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A Tale of 2 Strategies: The Twitter Genius of Chuck Grassley and Cory Booker

If you’re on Twitter and not following Sen. Chuck Grassley, you’re not using Twitter correctly.

The Iowa Republican is known for his colorful and personal Twitter feed. Take a gander: He personally tweets about everything from the History Channel to “Obamacare” to an incident in which he hit a deer with his car  (“assume dead”). Grassley’s tweets take us along for a ride, one that’s often riddled with spelling errors (which he has said is due to his distaste for typing and the iPhone’s auto-correct function).

Pres/Cong need 2work on Wash spending prob. No time 2waste b/4 Mar. Pres promised tax hike is done. Now he needs 2keep promise 4 less spend

— ChuckGrassley (@ChuckGrassley) January 4, 2013

Rained inIowa this weekend. Still 8 inches shortIowa still still listed dangerous drought pray For rain

— ChuckGrassley (@ChuckGrassley) December 17, 2012

Fred and I hit a deer on hiway 136 south of Dyersville. After I pulled fender rubbing on tire we continued to farm. Assume deer dead

— ChuckGrassley (@ChuckGrassley) October 26, 2012

Contrast Grassley’s tweets to another lawmaker known for his active and personal feed: Newark, N.J., Mayor Cory Booker. On Twitter, he’s part mayor, part celebrity. Booker tweets about city services and was widely praised for how he utilized the platform in the aftermath of superstorm Sandy to connect directly with residents. But then he’ll retweet someone who says she’s going to get a Cory Booker quote tattoo or someone who has a “political crush” on him. Sometimes, Booker tweets like a Kardashian.

Think so, call 9737334311. My people will tell u RT @hennybottle: Is the number to get downed wires removed same for all of essex county?

— Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) January 8, 2013

“Hey, Never Met U, Your tweet’s Crazy, I’ll DM My Number, So Call Me Maybe?” MT @ann_ralston: I have a non-sexual, political crush on you!

— Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) January 8, 2013

Wow. An honor I never quite imagined RT @rachelanncohen: deliberating between several Cory Booker quotes for my next tattoo.

— Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) January 8, 2013

I love you too! RT @alwoldegorgeous: I can actually say I am in love with @kimkardashian#girlcrush

— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) December 12, 2012

Obviously, Booker is savvier with Twitter than Grassley, and he’s utilized the platform effectively, as he vies for statewide office. Booker’s a PR genius with social media. Grassley’s himself–typos, rants, and all. So while Booker probably doesn’t need to take Twitter lessons from the six-term senator, there’s something decidedly old school and earnest that’s kind of appealing about Grassley’s feed, something that would be nice to see in Booker’s feed, too.

Welcome to Twitter Pope Benedict. U will find it useful and interesting

— ChuckGrassley (@ChuckGrassley) December 3, 2012

CORRECTION: Grassley has served in the Senate for six terms.  An earlier version of the story incorrectly listed his tenure.

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Diem Brown Blogs About Learning to Be Open to Therapy

In her PEOPLE.com blog, Diem Brown, the Real World/Road Rules Challenge contestant diagnosed with ovarian cancer for the second time, opens up about her desire for a child and the ups and downs of cancer and fertility procedures.

I grew up an Army brat and lived in Germany from when I was six years old until I was about 10. During those years, my mom wanted to make sure we absorbed as much "culture" and history as we could, so she would make us do a family drive around Europe on Saturdays. We did trips to every single monument, battlefield and castle you can imagine – and no drive was too far.

This might sound like an amazing adventure, but being a kid crammed into the back seat of a small car, driving up windy mountain roads between your sister and screaming brother, trying to reach your "field" destination ... Well, it felt more like pure torture!

Every week when Saturday rolled around, I would throw the most obnoxious temper tantrum screaming, "History IS history, Mom! I don't care about stupid castles! It's old! It's done!" Yes, what a precious gem of a child I was, huh? My temper tantrums never worked, and I was always quickly scooped up and thrown in the back seat where I waited for the impending car-sick history lesson to begin.

Fast-forward to college: I ironically enrolled as a history and political science major. I became obsessed with history and kicked myself for not realizing how cool those forced "history trips" really were. So, yes ... I was wrong ... and I misjudged the situation.

That leads me to the topic of therapy. When my mom passed away while I was in college, I was told by friends countless times: "You should go see someone ...it really will help you."

Therapy? No Thanks!

Diem Brown

Scott Gries for People.com

I would ignore their suggestions, because why would I talk to someone just to bring to the surface the hurt, loss and pain I felt over losing my mom? I was certain therapy was great for other people, but that I was "all good." I thought to myself, "I'm Southern! I know I can just swallow it, bury my pain and try to push forward with a smile."

Years later came my first bout with cancer, and as I walked into the infusion center, the "welfare" lady started handing me packet after packet of resources. I remember her urging me to try this "group therapy" session for young adults with cancer.

I politely took the packet but thought, "No way in HELL am I going to do group therapy!" I had such a wall up against doing therapy – private or in a group – because I feared it would tear some invisible Band-Aid off and I wouldn't be able to stop the flow of the unearthed pain.

Fast-forward to this past November when I was the keynote speaker at the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC) conference, where I was asked to lead a small group discussion among fellow ovarian cancer patients and survivors.

I was nervous because I had no idea how to lead a group in a discussion. There were about 30 women of all ages and I had butterflies in my stomach. But after getting the nervous butterflies out, magic happened.

I found out that there were over 175 years of survivorship in that room – one woman was in her fourth round with this disgusting ovarian cancer disease. I was blown away as people started sharing their experiences.

One woman described the first time she went out without a wig: She went to the grocery store around the time when the movie G.I. Jane was in theaters. In the check-out lane a woman behind her snickered, "Well I guess if Demi Moore is doing it, it must be cool." As this gorgeous woman told her story, I became so angry hearing her explain how the entire grocery line laughed at the snickering woman's comment.

Toward the end of her story, the "grandma" in our discussion room chimed in saying, "Honey, here is what I've said to people who make stupid comments." The "grandma" went on to share when some of her hair grew back in after chemo, she too ventured out without a wig and sure enough, a thoughtless comment was thrown at her in a disgusted sarcastic tone, "Wow! Well, aren't you just a cool rebel grandma with your head all shaved."

The sweet "grandma" said she calmly looked the stranger in the eye and said, "Well, aren't you lucky and blessed to have never gone through or have seen anyone you love go through chemo for cancer." She said as the word "chemo" escaped from her mouth, the look on the face of the person who made the ugly comment was priceless and she knew that that person would probably think twice before throwing out a judgmental comment again.

The whole room laughed and was so impressed with how this "grandma" took control of a situation at a time when she likely felt at her weakest.

Changing My Tune

After leaving the small group, I understood what great things could come out of group therapy, how much you can learn from others and what it means to have a support system of people who have been in your shoes.

So once again I was wrong to judge something as "not for me." And today as my doctor recently suggested, "I think you should go see one of our therapists," I'm not insulted or twisting his words to insinuate, "Wait what?! Why does my doctor think I'm crazy?!"

This time, I actually intend to use the psychologist referral card, thank my doctor for his suggestion and am excited to try the whole therapy thing out.

I think we all have judged certain things by saying, "That's just not for me." But by stepping out of our comfort zone, allowing ourselves to "give it a try" can only open us up for opportunities to become more enlightened, to grow and to heal.

So watch out future psychologist, you have on hell of a basket case coming your way! :)

Diem Brown

Scott Gries for People.com

Check back for updates every Thursday: Diem will be chronicling exclusively for PEOPLE.com her journey through fertility treatments, chemotherapy and her quest to educate others about ovarian health. You can also follow her on Twitter @DiemBrown.

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Flu season strikes early and, in some places, hard

NEW YORK (AP) — From the Rocky Mountains to New England, hospitals are swamped with people with flu symptoms. Some medical centers are turning away visitors or making them wear face masks, and one Pennsylvania hospital set up a tent outside its ER to deal with the feverish patients.

Flu season in the U.S. has struck early and, in many places, hard.

While flu normally doesn't blanket the country until late January or February, it is already widespread in more than 40 states, with about 30 of them reporting some major hot spots. On Thursday, health officials blamed the flu for the deaths of 20 children so far.

Whether this will be considered a bad season by the time it has run its course in the spring remains to be seen.

"Those of us with gray hair have seen worse," said Dr. William Schaffner, a flu expert at Vanderbilt University in Nashville.

The evidence so far points to a moderate season, Schaffner and others say. It looks bad in part because last year was unusually mild and because the main strain of influenza circulating this year tends to make people sicker and really lay them low.

David Smythe of New York City saw it happen to his 50-year-old girlfriend, who has been knocked out for about two weeks. "She's been in bed. She can't even get up," he said.

Also, the flu's early arrival coincided with spikes in a variety of other viruses, including a childhood malady that mimics flu and a new norovirus that causes vomiting and diarrhea, or what is commonly known as "stomach flu." So what people are calling the flu may, in fact, be something else.

"There may be more of an overlap than we normally see," said Dr. Joseph Bresee, who tracks the flu for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Most people don't undergo lab tests to confirm flu, and the symptoms are so similar that it can be hard to distinguish flu from other viruses, or even a cold. Over the holidays, 250 people were sickened at a Mormon missionary training center in Utah, but the culprit turned out to be a norovirus, not the flu.

Flu is a major contributor, though, to what's going on.

"I'd say 75 percent," said Dr. Dan Surdam, head of the emergency department at Cheyenne Regional Medical Center, Wyoming's largest hospital. The 17-bed emergency room saw its busiest day ever last week, with 166 visitors.

The early onslaught has resulted in a spike in hospitalizations. To deal with the influx and protect other patients from getting sick, hospitals are restricting visits from children, requiring family members to wear masks and banning anyone with flu symptoms from maternity wards.

One hospital in Allentown, Pa., set up a tent this week for a steady stream of patients with flu symptoms. But so far "what we're seeing is a typical flu season," said Terry Burger, director of infection control and prevention for the hospital, Lehigh Valley Hospital-Cedar Crest.

On Wednesday, Boston declared a public health emergency, with the city's hospitals counting about 1,500 emergency room visits since December by people with flu-like symptoms.

All the flu activity has led some to question whether this year's flu shot is working. While health officials are still analyzing the vaccine, early indications are that it's about 60 percent effective, which is in line with what's been seen in other years.

The vaccine is reformulated each year, based on experts' best guess of which strains of the virus will predominate. This year's vaccine is well-matched to what's going around. The government estimates that between a third and half of Americans have gotten the vaccine.

In New York City, 57-year-old Judith Quinones skipped getting a flu shot this season and suffered her worst case of flu-like illness in years. She was laid up for nearly a month with fever and body aches. "I just couldn't function," she said.

But her daughter got the vaccine. "And she got sick twice," Quinones said.

Europe is also suffering an early flu season, though a milder strain predominates there. Flu reports are up, too, in China, Japan, the West Bank, the Gaza Strip, Algeria and the Republic of Congo. Britain has seen a surge in cases of norovirus.

On average, about 24,000 Americans die each flu season, according to the CDC. That's an estimate — the agency does not keep a running tally of adult flu deaths each year, only for children. Some state health departments do keep count, and they've reported dozens of flu deaths so far.

Flu usually peaks in midwinter. Symptoms can include fever, cough, runny nose, head and body aches and fatigue. Some people also suffer vomiting and diarrhea, and some develop pneumonia or other severe complications.

Most people with flu have a mild illness and can help themselves and protect others by staying home and resting. But people with severe symptoms should see a doctor. They may be given antiviral drugs or other medications to ease symptoms.

Flu vaccinations are recommended for everyone 6 months or older. Of the 20 children killed by the flu this season, only two were fully vaccinated.

___

AP Medical Writer Maria Cheng in London contributed to this report.

___

Online:

CDC flu: http://www.cdc.gov/flu/index.htm

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Wall Street climbs as China data puts S&P back at five-year high

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Stocks rose on Thursday and the S&P 500 ended at a fresh five-year high as stronger-than-expected exports from China spurred optimism about global growth prospects.

Buying accelerated late in the day after the S&P 500 broke through technical resistance at 1,466.47, which was the market's closing level last Friday and the highest level since December 2007.

"Historically, January is a positive month for the market and you're seeing that play out," said Michael Sheldon, chief market strategist at RDM Financial in Westport, Connecticut.

Financial and energy stocks were the day's top gainers. The financial sector index <.gspf> rose 1.4 percent and the energy sector <.gspe> was up 1 percent.

Analysts cited economic data out of China as the day's catalyst, which showed the country's export growth rebounded sharply to a seven-month high in December, a strong finish to the year after seven straight quarters of slowdown.

"It is being interpreted positively that they've stopped the downturn (in growth)," said Kurt Brunner, portfolio manager at Swarthmore Group in Philadelphia.

"If they continue to produce good growth, that's going to be supportive of our global manufacturers."

Wall Street's fear gauge, the CBOE Volatility Index <.vix> suggested markets were relatively calm. The VIX was down 2.3 percent at 13.49.

At Thursday's close, the S&P sits about 6 percent below its all-time closing high of 1,565.15, hit in October 2007.

The Dow Jones industrial average <.dji> gained 80.71 points, or 0.60 percent, to 13,471.22. The Standard & Poor's 500 Index <.spx> rose 11.10 points, or 0.76 percent, to 1,472.12. The Nasdaq Composite Index <.ixic> added 15.95 points, or 0.51 percent, to 3,121.76.

Thursday's session had earlier included a dip that traders said was triggered by a trade in the options market that prompted a large amount of S&P futures to hit the market at the same time. That sent the S&P 500 index down rapidly but those losses were reversed through the afternoon.

Financials benefited from events this week that added clarity to mortgage rules and banks' potential exposure to the housing market.

The U.S. government's consumer finance watchdog announced mortgage rules on Thursday that will force banks to use new criteria to determine whether a borrower can repay a home loan.

Earlier this week, several big mortgage lenders reached a deal with regulators to end a review of foreclosures mandated by the government.

"It's a resolution. It's not hanging over their heads," said Brunner.

Bank of America gained 3.1 percent to $11.78, while Morgan Stanley was up 3.7 percent at $20.34, one day after sources said the bank plans to cut jobs.

Shares of upscale jeweler Tiffany dropped 4.5 percent to $60.40 after it said sales were flat during the holidays.

Herbalife Ltd stepped up its defense against activist investor Bill Ackman, stressing it was a legitimate company with a mission to improve nutrition and help public health. The stock ended down 1.8 percent at $39.24 after a volatile day.

After the closing bell, American Express said it would cut about 5,400 jobs, and take about $600 million in after-tax charges in the fourth quarter. The stock added 0.7 percent to $61.20 in after-hours trade.

Volume was above the 2012 average of 6.42 billion shares traded a day, with roughly 6.77 billion shares changing hands on the New York Stock Exchange, the Nasdaq and the NYSE MKT.

Advancers outnumbered decliners on the NYSE by 1,916 to 1,039, while advancers also outpaced decliners on the Nasdaq by 1,439 to 1,036.

(Editing by Nick Zieminski)

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Japan and Philippines to Bolster Maritime Cooperation

TOKYO — In a telling sign of how China’s rise has helped turn former wartime foes into allies, Japan and the Philippines agreed on Thursday to cooperate more closely on maritime security.

During talks in Manila, the foreign ministers of Japan and the Philippines proclaimed their nations to be strategic partners that would collaborate more in resolving their separate territorial disputes with China, news reports said. They also expressed “mutual concern” over increasingly assertive claims by China that have embroiled both nations, according to Kyodo News.

Japan is in a tense showdown over islands in the East China Sea, while the Philippines has wrangled with China over control of islands and fishing grounds in the South China Sea. The two nations agreed to exchange information and discuss each other’s strategies for responding to China, the ministers were quoted as saying. The Philippine minister, Albert del Rosario, said the discussion included a request by his country for 10 new patrol ships from Japan to strengthen the Filipino coast guard.

His Japanese counterpart, Fumio Kishida, was appointed last month by Japan’s new conservative prime minister, Shinzo Abe. The decision to have Mr. Kishida visit the Philippines for his first trip was seen as a symbolic gesture by Mr. Abe, who has vowed to strengthen security ties with other democracies in the region in an effort to offset China’s growing military and political clout.

Mr. Abe has also said he wants to work more closely with the United States and Australia to help bolster the capacity of less-developed nations like the Philippines to stand up to China. While long-pacifist Japan has restricted its aid to mostly nonmilitary purposes, like building up coast guards, its leaders have recently begun loosening some of the self-imposed restrictions. Japan is now in talks about providing training to submarine crews from Vietnam, and last year it gave its first limited military aid to East Timor and Cambodia.

Japan has long supplied development aid in the region, but it has operated carefully to avoid stirring bitter memories of its militarism during World War II, when its forces swept across much of Southeast Asia, including the Philippines, then emerging from its colonial relationship with the United States. However, in recent years Japan’s military has slowly raised its profile by joining regional training exercises and holding its first bilateral military maneuvers with Australia and India.

The building of regional military ties represents a significant strategic departure for the country, which after World War II relied for its defense on the United States and the roughly 50,000 military personnel it bases in Japan. For its part, China has pointed to the moves as proof of a resurgent militarism in Japan, which it says is swinging to the right.

News reports said Mr. del Rosario, the Philippine minister, called China’s territorial claims in the South China Sea a threat to regional stability.

“We also need to be able to address the possibility that the freedom of navigation would be adversely affected,” he was quoted as saying by The Associated Press.

The Japanese foreign minister agreed.

“As the strategic environment is changing, it is necessary for us as foreign ministers to share recognition of the situation,” Mr. Kishida said after the talks, according to Kyodo News. Kyodo said that Mr. Kishida also offered development loans to help build a light-rail system and a new airport.

This article has been revised to reflect the following correction:

Correction: January 10, 2013

An earlier version of this article described imprecisely the status of the Philippines during World War II. The islands were emerging from their colonial relationship with the United States.

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Go Ahead, Keep Being Mean to Celebrities on Twitter

We realize there’s only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cell phone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:  

RELATED: The Honey Boo Boo Nature Special; Everyone’s Favorite Sleepwalking Mom

We usually don’t condone being an impolite jerk to anyone, especially on social media. But we kind of make an exception because, well, if everyone was nice to everyone all of a sudden, we’d run out of fun Jimmy Kimmel segments where celebrities read their tweets:

RELATED: Ai Weiwei’s ‘Gangnam Style’ Isn’t Bad

RELATED: So Which Boyfriend Is Taylor Swift Singing About Now?

Oh man, this giant squid is like the most famous sea creature celebrity of the moment. And yes, it’s way freakier in motion:

RELATED: Katie Holmes Goes Bust on Broadway

RELATED: Justin Bieber is Coming to Town

So fine, this is sort of bending the rules per se because this isn’t really a video-video. It’s the Game of Thrones introduction with beatboxing by the Stark children. 

And finally, here is one minute of a man singing all the songs involving the word “baby.” And in case you were wondering, yes, Justin Bieber is officially in the Baby Pantheon of Music. 

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Jillian Michaels: Why I Decided to Come Back to The Biggest Loser

Jillian Michaels is back with a vengeance!

The personal trainer, 38, is eager for people to watch her return to reality TV on The Biggest Loser's 14th season on NBC, focusing her attention on the show's overweight youth.

"There were a lot of reasons for why I decided to come back," Michaels told PEOPLE on Wednesday in Pasadena, Calif., during the Television Critics Association's winter tour, naming fellow trainer Bob Harper as part of her motivation.

"Taking on childhood obesity is really exciting because both of us do work individually. Bob works with the First Lady [and] I work with the Clinton Foundation to help make a difference."

Michaels – who left the hit show after its 11th season to focus on raising a family with her partner Heidi Rhoades – calls the series "a fan favorite," adding, "It's something I had greatly underestimated."

Explains the fitness expert, "A vehicle like The Biggest Loser, with that kind of exposure and those kind of resources behind you, allows you to really get a message out and make a dent ... I never hear the end of, 'Go back to The Biggest Loser.' "

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Retooling Pap test to spot more kinds of cancer

WASHINGTON (AP) — For years, doctors have lamented that there's no Pap test for deadly ovarian cancer. Wednesday, scientists reported encouraging signs that one day, there might be.

Researchers are trying to retool the Pap, a test for cervical cancer that millions of women get, so that it could spot early signs of other gynecologic cancers, too.

How? It turns out that cells can flake off of tumors in the ovaries or the lining of the uterus, and float down to rest in the cervix, where Pap tests are performed. These cells are too rare to recognize under the microscope. But researchers from Johns Hopkins University used some sophisticated DNA testing on the Pap samples to uncover the evidence — gene mutations that show cancer is present.

In a pilot study, they analyzed Pap smears from 46 women who already were diagnosed with either ovarian or endometrial cancer. The new technique found all the endometrial cancers and 41 percent of the ovarian tumors, the team reported Wednesday in the journal Science Translational Medicine.

This is very early-stage research, and women shouldn't expect any change in their routine Paps. It will take years of additional testing to prove if the so-called PapGene technique really could work as a screening tool, used to spot cancer in women who thought they were healthy.

"Now the hard work begins," said Hopkins oncologist Dr. Luis Diaz, whose team is collecting hundreds of additional Pap samples for more study and is exploring ways to enhance the detection of ovarian cancer.

But if it ultimately pans out, "the neat part about this is, the patient won't feel anything different," and the Pap wouldn't be performed differently, Diaz added. The extra work would come in a lab.

The gene-based technique marks a new approach toward cancer screening, and specialists are watching closely.

"This is very encouraging, and it shows great potential," said American Cancer Society genetics expert Michael Melner.

"We are a long way from being able to see any impact on our patients," cautioned Dr. Shannon Westin of the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center. She reviewed the research in an accompanying editorial, and said the ovarian cancer detection would need improvement if the test is to work.

But she noted that ovarian cancer has poor survival rates because it's rarely caught early. "If this screening test could identify ovarian cancer at an early stage, there would be a profound impact on patient outcomes and mortality," Westin said.

More than 22,000 U.S. women are diagnosed with ovarian cancer each year, and more than 15,000 die. Symptoms such as pain and bloating seldom are obvious until the cancer is more advanced, and numerous attempts at screening tests have failed.

Endometrial cancer affects about 47,000 women a year, and kills about 8,000. There is no screening test for it either, but most women are diagnosed early because of postmenopausal bleeding.

The Hopkins research piggybacks on one of the most successful cancer screening tools, the Pap, and a newer technology used along with it. With a standard Pap, a little brush scrapes off cells from the cervix, which are stored in a vial to examine for signs of cervical cancer. Today, many women's Paps undergo an additional DNA-based test to see if they harbor the HPV virus, which can spur cervical cancer.

So the Hopkins team, funded largely by cancer advocacy groups, decided to look for DNA evidence of other gynecologic tumors. It developed a method to rapidly screen the Pap samples for those mutations using standard genetics equipment that Diaz said wouldn't add much to the cost of a Pap-plus-HPV test. He said the technique could detect both early-stage and more advanced tumors. Importantly, tests of Paps from 14 healthy women turned up no false alarms.

The endometrial cancers may have been easier to find because cells from those tumors don't have as far to travel as ovarian cancer cells, Diaz said. Researchers will study whether inserting the Pap brush deeper, testing during different times of the menstrual cycle, or other factors might improve detection of ovarian cancer.

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