Diem Brown Blogs About Learning to Be Open to Therapy

In her PEOPLE.com blog, Diem Brown, the Real World/Road Rules Challenge contestant diagnosed with ovarian cancer for the second time, opens up about her desire for a child and the ups and downs of cancer and fertility procedures.

I grew up an Army brat and lived in Germany from when I was six years old until I was about 10. During those years, my mom wanted to make sure we absorbed as much "culture" and history as we could, so she would make us do a family drive around Europe on Saturdays. We did trips to every single monument, battlefield and castle you can imagine – and no drive was too far.

This might sound like an amazing adventure, but being a kid crammed into the back seat of a small car, driving up windy mountain roads between your sister and screaming brother, trying to reach your "field" destination ... Well, it felt more like pure torture!

Every week when Saturday rolled around, I would throw the most obnoxious temper tantrum screaming, "History IS history, Mom! I don't care about stupid castles! It's old! It's done!" Yes, what a precious gem of a child I was, huh? My temper tantrums never worked, and I was always quickly scooped up and thrown in the back seat where I waited for the impending car-sick history lesson to begin.

Fast-forward to college: I ironically enrolled as a history and political science major. I became obsessed with history and kicked myself for not realizing how cool those forced "history trips" really were. So, yes ... I was wrong ... and I misjudged the situation.

That leads me to the topic of therapy. When my mom passed away while I was in college, I was told by friends countless times: "You should go see someone ...it really will help you."

Therapy? No Thanks!

Diem Brown

Scott Gries for People.com

I would ignore their suggestions, because why would I talk to someone just to bring to the surface the hurt, loss and pain I felt over losing my mom? I was certain therapy was great for other people, but that I was "all good." I thought to myself, "I'm Southern! I know I can just swallow it, bury my pain and try to push forward with a smile."

Years later came my first bout with cancer, and as I walked into the infusion center, the "welfare" lady started handing me packet after packet of resources. I remember her urging me to try this "group therapy" session for young adults with cancer.

I politely took the packet but thought, "No way in HELL am I going to do group therapy!" I had such a wall up against doing therapy – private or in a group – because I feared it would tear some invisible Band-Aid off and I wouldn't be able to stop the flow of the unearthed pain.

Fast-forward to this past November when I was the keynote speaker at the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC) conference, where I was asked to lead a small group discussion among fellow ovarian cancer patients and survivors.

I was nervous because I had no idea how to lead a group in a discussion. There were about 30 women of all ages and I had butterflies in my stomach. But after getting the nervous butterflies out, magic happened.

I found out that there were over 175 years of survivorship in that room – one woman was in her fourth round with this disgusting ovarian cancer disease. I was blown away as people started sharing their experiences.

One woman described the first time she went out without a wig: She went to the grocery store around the time when the movie G.I. Jane was in theaters. In the check-out lane a woman behind her snickered, "Well I guess if Demi Moore is doing it, it must be cool." As this gorgeous woman told her story, I became so angry hearing her explain how the entire grocery line laughed at the snickering woman's comment.

Toward the end of her story, the "grandma" in our discussion room chimed in saying, "Honey, here is what I've said to people who make stupid comments." The "grandma" went on to share when some of her hair grew back in after chemo, she too ventured out without a wig and sure enough, a thoughtless comment was thrown at her in a disgusted sarcastic tone, "Wow! Well, aren't you just a cool rebel grandma with your head all shaved."

The sweet "grandma" said she calmly looked the stranger in the eye and said, "Well, aren't you lucky and blessed to have never gone through or have seen anyone you love go through chemo for cancer." She said as the word "chemo" escaped from her mouth, the look on the face of the person who made the ugly comment was priceless and she knew that that person would probably think twice before throwing out a judgmental comment again.

The whole room laughed and was so impressed with how this "grandma" took control of a situation at a time when she likely felt at her weakest.

Changing My Tune

After leaving the small group, I understood what great things could come out of group therapy, how much you can learn from others and what it means to have a support system of people who have been in your shoes.

So once again I was wrong to judge something as "not for me." And today as my doctor recently suggested, "I think you should go see one of our therapists," I'm not insulted or twisting his words to insinuate, "Wait what?! Why does my doctor think I'm crazy?!"

This time, I actually intend to use the psychologist referral card, thank my doctor for his suggestion and am excited to try the whole therapy thing out.

I think we all have judged certain things by saying, "That's just not for me." But by stepping out of our comfort zone, allowing ourselves to "give it a try" can only open us up for opportunities to become more enlightened, to grow and to heal.

So watch out future psychologist, you have on hell of a basket case coming your way! :)

Diem Brown

Scott Gries for People.com

Check back for updates every Thursday: Diem will be chronicling exclusively for PEOPLE.com her journey through fertility treatments, chemotherapy and her quest to educate others about ovarian health. You can also follow her on Twitter @DiemBrown.

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Flu season strikes early and, in some places, hard

NEW YORK (AP) — From the Rocky Mountains to New England, hospitals are swamped with people with flu symptoms. Some medical centers are turning away visitors or making them wear face masks, and one Pennsylvania hospital set up a tent outside its ER to deal with the feverish patients.

Flu season in the U.S. has struck early and, in many places, hard.

While flu normally doesn't blanket the country until late January or February, it is already widespread in more than 40 states, with about 30 of them reporting some major hot spots. On Thursday, health officials blamed the flu for the deaths of 20 children so far.

Whether this will be considered a bad season by the time it has run its course in the spring remains to be seen.

"Those of us with gray hair have seen worse," said Dr. William Schaffner, a flu expert at Vanderbilt University in Nashville.

The evidence so far points to a moderate season, Schaffner and others say. It looks bad in part because last year was unusually mild and because the main strain of influenza circulating this year tends to make people sicker and really lay them low.

David Smythe of New York City saw it happen to his 50-year-old girlfriend, who has been knocked out for about two weeks. "She's been in bed. She can't even get up," he said.

Also, the flu's early arrival coincided with spikes in a variety of other viruses, including a childhood malady that mimics flu and a new norovirus that causes vomiting and diarrhea, or what is commonly known as "stomach flu." So what people are calling the flu may, in fact, be something else.

"There may be more of an overlap than we normally see," said Dr. Joseph Bresee, who tracks the flu for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Most people don't undergo lab tests to confirm flu, and the symptoms are so similar that it can be hard to distinguish flu from other viruses, or even a cold. Over the holidays, 250 people were sickened at a Mormon missionary training center in Utah, but the culprit turned out to be a norovirus, not the flu.

Flu is a major contributor, though, to what's going on.

"I'd say 75 percent," said Dr. Dan Surdam, head of the emergency department at Cheyenne Regional Medical Center, Wyoming's largest hospital. The 17-bed emergency room saw its busiest day ever last week, with 166 visitors.

The early onslaught has resulted in a spike in hospitalizations. To deal with the influx and protect other patients from getting sick, hospitals are restricting visits from children, requiring family members to wear masks and banning anyone with flu symptoms from maternity wards.

One hospital in Allentown, Pa., set up a tent this week for a steady stream of patients with flu symptoms. But so far "what we're seeing is a typical flu season," said Terry Burger, director of infection control and prevention for the hospital, Lehigh Valley Hospital-Cedar Crest.

On Wednesday, Boston declared a public health emergency, with the city's hospitals counting about 1,500 emergency room visits since December by people with flu-like symptoms.

All the flu activity has led some to question whether this year's flu shot is working. While health officials are still analyzing the vaccine, early indications are that it's about 60 percent effective, which is in line with what's been seen in other years.

The vaccine is reformulated each year, based on experts' best guess of which strains of the virus will predominate. This year's vaccine is well-matched to what's going around. The government estimates that between a third and half of Americans have gotten the vaccine.

In New York City, 57-year-old Judith Quinones skipped getting a flu shot this season and suffered her worst case of flu-like illness in years. She was laid up for nearly a month with fever and body aches. "I just couldn't function," she said.

But her daughter got the vaccine. "And she got sick twice," Quinones said.

Europe is also suffering an early flu season, though a milder strain predominates there. Flu reports are up, too, in China, Japan, the West Bank, the Gaza Strip, Algeria and the Republic of Congo. Britain has seen a surge in cases of norovirus.

On average, about 24,000 Americans die each flu season, according to the CDC. That's an estimate — the agency does not keep a running tally of adult flu deaths each year, only for children. Some state health departments do keep count, and they've reported dozens of flu deaths so far.

Flu usually peaks in midwinter. Symptoms can include fever, cough, runny nose, head and body aches and fatigue. Some people also suffer vomiting and diarrhea, and some develop pneumonia or other severe complications.

Most people with flu have a mild illness and can help themselves and protect others by staying home and resting. But people with severe symptoms should see a doctor. They may be given antiviral drugs or other medications to ease symptoms.

Flu vaccinations are recommended for everyone 6 months or older. Of the 20 children killed by the flu this season, only two were fully vaccinated.

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AP Medical Writer Maria Cheng in London contributed to this report.

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Online:

CDC flu: http://www.cdc.gov/flu/index.htm

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Wall Street climbs as China data puts S&P back at five-year high

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Stocks rose on Thursday and the S&P 500 ended at a fresh five-year high as stronger-than-expected exports from China spurred optimism about global growth prospects.

Buying accelerated late in the day after the S&P 500 broke through technical resistance at 1,466.47, which was the market's closing level last Friday and the highest level since December 2007.

"Historically, January is a positive month for the market and you're seeing that play out," said Michael Sheldon, chief market strategist at RDM Financial in Westport, Connecticut.

Financial and energy stocks were the day's top gainers. The financial sector index <.gspf> rose 1.4 percent and the energy sector <.gspe> was up 1 percent.

Analysts cited economic data out of China as the day's catalyst, which showed the country's export growth rebounded sharply to a seven-month high in December, a strong finish to the year after seven straight quarters of slowdown.

"It is being interpreted positively that they've stopped the downturn (in growth)," said Kurt Brunner, portfolio manager at Swarthmore Group in Philadelphia.

"If they continue to produce good growth, that's going to be supportive of our global manufacturers."

Wall Street's fear gauge, the CBOE Volatility Index <.vix> suggested markets were relatively calm. The VIX was down 2.3 percent at 13.49.

At Thursday's close, the S&P sits about 6 percent below its all-time closing high of 1,565.15, hit in October 2007.

The Dow Jones industrial average <.dji> gained 80.71 points, or 0.60 percent, to 13,471.22. The Standard & Poor's 500 Index <.spx> rose 11.10 points, or 0.76 percent, to 1,472.12. The Nasdaq Composite Index <.ixic> added 15.95 points, or 0.51 percent, to 3,121.76.

Thursday's session had earlier included a dip that traders said was triggered by a trade in the options market that prompted a large amount of S&P futures to hit the market at the same time. That sent the S&P 500 index down rapidly but those losses were reversed through the afternoon.

Financials benefited from events this week that added clarity to mortgage rules and banks' potential exposure to the housing market.

The U.S. government's consumer finance watchdog announced mortgage rules on Thursday that will force banks to use new criteria to determine whether a borrower can repay a home loan.

Earlier this week, several big mortgage lenders reached a deal with regulators to end a review of foreclosures mandated by the government.

"It's a resolution. It's not hanging over their heads," said Brunner.

Bank of America gained 3.1 percent to $11.78, while Morgan Stanley was up 3.7 percent at $20.34, one day after sources said the bank plans to cut jobs.

Shares of upscale jeweler Tiffany dropped 4.5 percent to $60.40 after it said sales were flat during the holidays.

Herbalife Ltd stepped up its defense against activist investor Bill Ackman, stressing it was a legitimate company with a mission to improve nutrition and help public health. The stock ended down 1.8 percent at $39.24 after a volatile day.

After the closing bell, American Express said it would cut about 5,400 jobs, and take about $600 million in after-tax charges in the fourth quarter. The stock added 0.7 percent to $61.20 in after-hours trade.

Volume was above the 2012 average of 6.42 billion shares traded a day, with roughly 6.77 billion shares changing hands on the New York Stock Exchange, the Nasdaq and the NYSE MKT.

Advancers outnumbered decliners on the NYSE by 1,916 to 1,039, while advancers also outpaced decliners on the Nasdaq by 1,439 to 1,036.

(Editing by Nick Zieminski)

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Japan and Philippines to Bolster Maritime Cooperation

TOKYO — In a telling sign of how China’s rise has helped turn former wartime foes into allies, Japan and the Philippines agreed on Thursday to cooperate more closely on maritime security.

During talks in Manila, the foreign ministers of Japan and the Philippines proclaimed their nations to be strategic partners that would collaborate more in resolving their separate territorial disputes with China, news reports said. They also expressed “mutual concern” over increasingly assertive claims by China that have embroiled both nations, according to Kyodo News.

Japan is in a tense showdown over islands in the East China Sea, while the Philippines has wrangled with China over control of islands and fishing grounds in the South China Sea. The two nations agreed to exchange information and discuss each other’s strategies for responding to China, the ministers were quoted as saying. The Philippine minister, Albert del Rosario, said the discussion included a request by his country for 10 new patrol ships from Japan to strengthen the Filipino coast guard.

His Japanese counterpart, Fumio Kishida, was appointed last month by Japan’s new conservative prime minister, Shinzo Abe. The decision to have Mr. Kishida visit the Philippines for his first trip was seen as a symbolic gesture by Mr. Abe, who has vowed to strengthen security ties with other democracies in the region in an effort to offset China’s growing military and political clout.

Mr. Abe has also said he wants to work more closely with the United States and Australia to help bolster the capacity of less-developed nations like the Philippines to stand up to China. While long-pacifist Japan has restricted its aid to mostly nonmilitary purposes, like building up coast guards, its leaders have recently begun loosening some of the self-imposed restrictions. Japan is now in talks about providing training to submarine crews from Vietnam, and last year it gave its first limited military aid to East Timor and Cambodia.

Japan has long supplied development aid in the region, but it has operated carefully to avoid stirring bitter memories of its militarism during World War II, when its forces swept across much of Southeast Asia, including the Philippines, then emerging from its colonial relationship with the United States. However, in recent years Japan’s military has slowly raised its profile by joining regional training exercises and holding its first bilateral military maneuvers with Australia and India.

The building of regional military ties represents a significant strategic departure for the country, which after World War II relied for its defense on the United States and the roughly 50,000 military personnel it bases in Japan. For its part, China has pointed to the moves as proof of a resurgent militarism in Japan, which it says is swinging to the right.

News reports said Mr. del Rosario, the Philippine minister, called China’s territorial claims in the South China Sea a threat to regional stability.

“We also need to be able to address the possibility that the freedom of navigation would be adversely affected,” he was quoted as saying by The Associated Press.

The Japanese foreign minister agreed.

“As the strategic environment is changing, it is necessary for us as foreign ministers to share recognition of the situation,” Mr. Kishida said after the talks, according to Kyodo News. Kyodo said that Mr. Kishida also offered development loans to help build a light-rail system and a new airport.

This article has been revised to reflect the following correction:

Correction: January 10, 2013

An earlier version of this article described imprecisely the status of the Philippines during World War II. The islands were emerging from their colonial relationship with the United States.

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Go Ahead, Keep Being Mean to Celebrities on Twitter

We realize there’s only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cell phone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:  

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We usually don’t condone being an impolite jerk to anyone, especially on social media. But we kind of make an exception because, well, if everyone was nice to everyone all of a sudden, we’d run out of fun Jimmy Kimmel segments where celebrities read their tweets:

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Oh man, this giant squid is like the most famous sea creature celebrity of the moment. And yes, it’s way freakier in motion:

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So fine, this is sort of bending the rules per se because this isn’t really a video-video. It’s the Game of Thrones introduction with beatboxing by the Stark children. 

And finally, here is one minute of a man singing all the songs involving the word “baby.” And in case you were wondering, yes, Justin Bieber is officially in the Baby Pantheon of Music. 

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Jillian Michaels: Why I Decided to Come Back to The Biggest Loser

Jillian Michaels is back with a vengeance!

The personal trainer, 38, is eager for people to watch her return to reality TV on The Biggest Loser's 14th season on NBC, focusing her attention on the show's overweight youth.

"There were a lot of reasons for why I decided to come back," Michaels told PEOPLE on Wednesday in Pasadena, Calif., during the Television Critics Association's winter tour, naming fellow trainer Bob Harper as part of her motivation.

"Taking on childhood obesity is really exciting because both of us do work individually. Bob works with the First Lady [and] I work with the Clinton Foundation to help make a difference."

Michaels – who left the hit show after its 11th season to focus on raising a family with her partner Heidi Rhoades – calls the series "a fan favorite," adding, "It's something I had greatly underestimated."

Explains the fitness expert, "A vehicle like The Biggest Loser, with that kind of exposure and those kind of resources behind you, allows you to really get a message out and make a dent ... I never hear the end of, 'Go back to The Biggest Loser.' "

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Retooling Pap test to spot more kinds of cancer

WASHINGTON (AP) — For years, doctors have lamented that there's no Pap test for deadly ovarian cancer. Wednesday, scientists reported encouraging signs that one day, there might be.

Researchers are trying to retool the Pap, a test for cervical cancer that millions of women get, so that it could spot early signs of other gynecologic cancers, too.

How? It turns out that cells can flake off of tumors in the ovaries or the lining of the uterus, and float down to rest in the cervix, where Pap tests are performed. These cells are too rare to recognize under the microscope. But researchers from Johns Hopkins University used some sophisticated DNA testing on the Pap samples to uncover the evidence — gene mutations that show cancer is present.

In a pilot study, they analyzed Pap smears from 46 women who already were diagnosed with either ovarian or endometrial cancer. The new technique found all the endometrial cancers and 41 percent of the ovarian tumors, the team reported Wednesday in the journal Science Translational Medicine.

This is very early-stage research, and women shouldn't expect any change in their routine Paps. It will take years of additional testing to prove if the so-called PapGene technique really could work as a screening tool, used to spot cancer in women who thought they were healthy.

"Now the hard work begins," said Hopkins oncologist Dr. Luis Diaz, whose team is collecting hundreds of additional Pap samples for more study and is exploring ways to enhance the detection of ovarian cancer.

But if it ultimately pans out, "the neat part about this is, the patient won't feel anything different," and the Pap wouldn't be performed differently, Diaz added. The extra work would come in a lab.

The gene-based technique marks a new approach toward cancer screening, and specialists are watching closely.

"This is very encouraging, and it shows great potential," said American Cancer Society genetics expert Michael Melner.

"We are a long way from being able to see any impact on our patients," cautioned Dr. Shannon Westin of the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center. She reviewed the research in an accompanying editorial, and said the ovarian cancer detection would need improvement if the test is to work.

But she noted that ovarian cancer has poor survival rates because it's rarely caught early. "If this screening test could identify ovarian cancer at an early stage, there would be a profound impact on patient outcomes and mortality," Westin said.

More than 22,000 U.S. women are diagnosed with ovarian cancer each year, and more than 15,000 die. Symptoms such as pain and bloating seldom are obvious until the cancer is more advanced, and numerous attempts at screening tests have failed.

Endometrial cancer affects about 47,000 women a year, and kills about 8,000. There is no screening test for it either, but most women are diagnosed early because of postmenopausal bleeding.

The Hopkins research piggybacks on one of the most successful cancer screening tools, the Pap, and a newer technology used along with it. With a standard Pap, a little brush scrapes off cells from the cervix, which are stored in a vial to examine for signs of cervical cancer. Today, many women's Paps undergo an additional DNA-based test to see if they harbor the HPV virus, which can spur cervical cancer.

So the Hopkins team, funded largely by cancer advocacy groups, decided to look for DNA evidence of other gynecologic tumors. It developed a method to rapidly screen the Pap samples for those mutations using standard genetics equipment that Diaz said wouldn't add much to the cost of a Pap-plus-HPV test. He said the technique could detect both early-stage and more advanced tumors. Importantly, tests of Paps from 14 healthy women turned up no false alarms.

The endometrial cancers may have been easier to find because cells from those tumors don't have as far to travel as ovarian cancer cells, Diaz said. Researchers will study whether inserting the Pap brush deeper, testing during different times of the menstrual cycle, or other factors might improve detection of ovarian cancer.

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Wall Street rises after Alcoa reports earnings

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Stocks rose on Wednesday, rebounding from two days of losses, as investors turned their focus to the first prominent results of the earnings season.

Stocks had retreated at the start of the week from the S&P 500's highest point in five years, hit last Friday, on worries about possible earnings weakness.

Shares of Alcoa Inc were down 0.5 percent to $9.08 after early gains, following the company's earnings release after the bell on Tuesday. The largest U.S. aluminum producer said it expects global demand for aluminum to grow in 2013.

Herbalife Ltd stock rose 4.2 percent to $39.95 in its most active day of trading in the company's history after hedge fund manager Dan Loeb took a large stake in the nutritional supplements seller. Prominent short-seller Bill Ackman had previously accused the company of being a "pyramid scheme," which Herbalife has denied.

Traders have been cautious as the current quarter shaped up like the previous one, with companies recently lowering expectations, said James Dailey, portfolio manager of Team Asset Strategy Fund in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Lower expectations leave room for companies to surprise investors even if their results are not particularly strong.

"The big question and focus is on revenue, and Alcoa had better-than-expected revenue," which calmed the market a little, Dailey said.

Overall, corporate profits were expected to beat the previous quarter's meager 0.1 percent rise. Both earnings and revenues in the fourth quarter are expected to have grown by 1.9 percent, according to Thomson Reuters data.

The Dow Jones industrial average <.dji> gained 61.66 points, or 0.46 percent, to 13,390.51. The Standard & Poor's 500 Index <.spx> rose 3.87 points, or 0.27 percent, to 1,461.02. The Nasdaq Composite Index <.ixic> gained 14.00 points, or 0.45 percent, to 3,105.81.

Facebook Inc shares rose above $30 for the first time since July 2012, trading up 5.3 percent at $30.59. Facebook, which has been tight-lipped about its plans after its botched IPO in May, invited the media to its headquarters next week.

Clearwire Corp shares jumped 7.2 percent to $3.13 after Dish Network bid $2.28 billion for the company, beating out a previous Sprint offer and setting the stage for a takeover battle for the wireless service provider that owns crucial mobile spectrum.

Apollo Group Inc slid after heavier early losses, a day after it reported lower student sign-ups for the third straight quarter and cut its operating profit outlook for 2013. Apollo's shares were last off 7.8 percent at $19.32.

Volume was below the 2012 average of 6.42 billion shares traded per day, as 6.10 billion were traded on the New York Stock Exchange, NYSE MKT and Nasdaq.

Advancing stocks outnumbered declining ones on the NYSE by 2,014 to 963, while on the Nasdaq advancers beat decliners 1,603 to 859.

(Reporting by Gabriel Debenedetti; additional reporting by Angela Moon; Editing by Nick Zieminski)

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Venezuelan Court: Chávez Swearing-In Can Be Postponed

CARACAS, Venezuela (AP) — Venezuela's foreign minister is hosting a meeting with leaders from 19 Latin American and Caribbean nations.

Nicolas Maduro plans to discuss issues related to Petrocaribe, a pact that has boosted the South American nation's influence in the region.

Venezuela created Petrocaribe in 2005 to sell fuel to member countries at preferential terms and help finance oil infrastructure projects.

Visiting leaders and foreign ministers are expected to attend an event Thursday to show their support for President Hugo Chavez.

Chavez is currently in Cuba recovering from cancer-related surgery.

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James Franco Does His Best Justin Bieber

We realize there’s only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cell phone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:  

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Remember when Justin Bieber was struggling for relevance and James Franco was the super serious, super educated actor destined for greatness? Well, Franco clearly doesn’t want you to:

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So what do you do when someone gets their dream wedding ruined by a doomed hot-air balloon ride? Well, if you’re the Today show, you make a macabre Wedding Crashers joke: 

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Here’s perhaps one of the better arguments against that trillion-dollar coin, courtesy of Homer Simpson and company:

And this guy seems pretty down on the squandered opulence of cruise ships:

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